How to Earn Money in the Philippines!

How to Earn Money in the Philippines! Well, with the US Dollar losing strength against the Philippine Peso, currently the rate is 43.25 PHP to 1 USD,  our money is worth at least 20%  less then what is was last year. So I’m thinking (which I do on rare occasions.) What can we do to earn some money in the Philippines?  Here’s some suggestions I came up with:

• Have my 77-year-old, 77 pound mother-in-law that lives with us work as a bar maid, or guest relations officer,  in Angeles City. Haven’t told my wife about this idea yet.
• Sell revealing photographs of myself online. Or threaten to publish said photos and put a donation button on this blog so I WON’T show them. Again, haven’t told my asawa about this idea, either. At 46 years of age she might be vulnerable to heart attacks, and this idea might give her one.
• Start begging. Nearby Iloilo City has banned it, but I still see beggars there, but have never witnessed a foreigner panhandling. I would bring our cute three-year-old niece with us dressed in rags to generate more income. Can have my wife go with me and have her wear a “I’m With Stupid!” T-shirt with an arrow on it pointing to me.
• Sell little vials of  actual lizard poop online. Or cow manure. We have plenty of both, including B.S.
• Collect five pesos each time somebody passes me on the street in the Philippines and yells out “Americano” or “Hey, Joe!“
• Collect a five peso fine from each guy I see pee in our public streets.  Make sure I collect said fine after they have washed their hands.
• And finally, I could start dressing up as a lady boy and scam foreigners online. More and more lady boys in the Philippines are doing this. Why not let a “kano” try it?  Guess I would have to shave my beard, though, and explain wearing a cute halter top and pink short-shorts around the house to my wife! (By the way, if you say I’m not right, you’re not wrong!)